20 Things I Can Do Without

1. The belief held by fanatics that enough fanaticism, applied forcefully enough, will cause all nonbelievers to 'come around' and change the world for the better. Grow up.

2. The word 'durp' and all derivations thereof, like 'durpity.' It needs to go away. It's offensive, stupid and unfunny.

3. Bullies of all shapes, sizes, genders and creeds.

4. Libertarians who, since they aren't members of either major political party, feel they are above the fray, beyond reproach. No, actually, your beliefs are not new, and not only that, they make you an asshole.

5. People who mistake cleverness for wisdom.

6. Copywriters. Get over yourselves. You're not Don Draper.

7. Hedge fund managers and anyone who justifies their existence.

8. Corporations not giving their mission statements a social conscience and making an effort to follow through. Companies need to be more responsible about the communities they impact, be it at home or abroad.

9. Bosses who nitpick because they don't understand the big picture.

10. Anyone who thinks communication is overrated.

11. Bigotry, Misogyny, Racism.

12. Those who see food as an necessary obstacle rather than a joyful experience.

13. Churches that use fear and manipulation to extort money from poor congregations, then turn around and use that money for home improvement, new cars, swimming pools, and other luxuries for themselves.

14. The song 'Kokomo' by the Beach Boys.

15. Those who mistreat service workers (snap their fingers at wait staff, demand their orders without saying please or thank you) and treat them like indentured servants.

16. People who talk on their cell phones while driving or being checked out at the supermarket.

17. Think Tanks with generic, misleading names like 'Center for Policy Initiatives' or 'People for America's Future.'

18. Movie trailers that do one or all of the following: give away the entire plot, play that loud 'record scratch' sound after a 'wacky' moment, un-ironically use the phrases 'in a world' and 'one man' despite it being a laughable cliche.

19. Belief that a benevolent, wise, all-knowing Free Market God, unrestrained & unregulated, will result in all of the following: greater competition, more jobs, better conditions for everyone, less inequality, fairer and lower prices.*

20. Men who abuse women and children, either physically or emotionally. I've had just about enough of the 'deep down, he's a good person' excuse for monsters who do this.

*(I do believe, very sincerely, in the existence of a bloodthirsty, amoral and demanding 'Profit Motive' God, whose eternal gaze guides Anarcho-Capitalism, but that is another matter.)


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